Becoming Dependable: The Beginning

Becoming Dependable: The Beginning

“What would it mean to enable myself, the living pen as the process of living the word dependable?” “What would it practically mean for me, my relationship with who I am in thought, word and deed to live the word ‘dependable’ and what role does purpose play within this all?”

In this post, I am continuing with the above questions as well as expanding on the following:

To those who love writing / drawing / painting: the best moment is when you have that blank page before you and you have the DECISION to EXPRESS the UTMOST of yourself from the moment you start writing / drawing / painting. This is exactly the same for the MOMENTS we have in everyday life when we have a DECISION before us the moment we recognise the fact that our thoughts and inner experiences are not reflecting our potential: to make the decision to CHANGE, to LIVE in thought word and deed the WORD you’re going to WRITE / LIVE in THAT MOMENT.

Here is my beginning with living the word ‘dependable’ in my first and foremost relationship: my relationship with ME – who I am in thought, word and deed. Together with incorporating the word purpose: how I placed my SELF (through what I have as my ability to look, speak, act and within that DECIDE) – to PURPOSE. I essentially merged the words ‘dependable’ and ‘purpose’ within myself in a way where, living the word ‘dependable’ supported the word ‘purpose’ as much as the word ‘purpose’ supported the word ‘dependable’.

This is what is so exciting and liberating when it comes to the process of redefining and living words: How you change and so CREATE yourself through redefining and living individual words, but also reach a phase where you start having a look at uniting / connecting words; such as the words dependable and purpose in a way that supports you in your relationship with yourself, your mind, your relationships and everyday life experiences!

An example: Redefining the word ‘dependable’ for me was to look into both words, ‘dependable’ and ‘purpose’. With having a look at these two words in the beginning of my process when I started Portalling and my responsibility when it came to Portalling: my definition of ‘purpose’ was my relationship to bringing through the beings, to Portal, to share as much knowledge and information that could be placed into living practise / application to show people the process through the Mind into their Utmost Potential as living Self Awareness. Dependability then within that was my personal process WITHIN myself – being the living / leading example, by being more aware of who I am in thought, word and deed – placing a GUARD infront of my MIND, my MOUTH and my LIVING ACTIONS. A GUARD as ME as the MOMENT I GIFT to myself through self forGIFTness to take a BREATH, take a STEP BACK and assess in MOMENTS “who I am” and whether what is moving / manifesting within me is what I want to speak / live or whether I am going to DIRECT and MOVE myself into and as a different expression.

So, here you can see how my ‘self dependability’ as depending on me to be a living / leading example of the purpose I walk and committed to within and as Portalling and the knowledge and information as process the beings are sharing through me – how these two words compliment and support one another in my life, my self and my responsibility towards me and Portalling.

However…I have through time, within the definitions and living of the words ‘purpose’ and ‘dependable’ found that there were some ‘misalignments’ in my initial self definition of the word ‘dependable’. I was satisfied with how I lived the word ‘purpose’ when it came to my responsibility and commitment (as well as MUCH ENJOYMENT!!!) to Portalling. However…I realised I still personally in this world and the hereafter walked my personal processes and experiences through my own mind, being and body relationship - in such a way where I didn’t always ‘feel’ or ‘see’ myself as ‘dependable’ in my personal process and so as an example for so many others. Until I realised: there was a part of me that defined the word ‘dependable’ in “being dependable FOR EVERYONE, FOR THE PORTAL, FOR PROCESS” and so, whenever I made a mistake, or went through a process – I would be VERY hard on myself…and unnecessarily so.

Here again, leading me to asking myself: With having the PURPOSE I do have. The responsibility I have within and as this purpose that is me, that is my life…how can I start redefining and living the word ‘dependable’ for ME first and foremost and from here SHARE and EXPRESS and be a living example of this word for so many others who can, in turn, empower themselves by redefining and living this word?

For so many others, when you have so much responsibility, such a massive purpose – does dependability mean “you have to be perfect all the time?” Does dependability mean “perfection” OR…does it mean “being a SUPPORTIVE EXAMPLE?” What is the difference between “perfection” and “being a supportive example?” To me, being a supportive example is: when and as you go through processes and experiences, make mistakes – that you LEARN and SHARE and SHOW as a supportive example for others to equally LEARN FROM YOU as YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES. ‘Cause I initially defined ‘dependability’ within ‘my purpose / responsibility’ as “I have to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!”. This was a mistake…

I will continue more in the next post

Dependable: Enabling my self, my purpose

Dependable: Enabling my self, my purpose

“What would it mean to enable myself, the living pen as the process of living the word dependable?” “What would it practically mean for me, my relationship with who I am in thought, word and deed to live the word ‘dependable’ and what role does purpose play within this all?”

I have looked at my relationship to thinking, speaking and acting. These three foundations serve as a ‘platform’ within and as which I stand, gifting me with the ability to respond to myself, others and my environment. However, what I have not done (in the beginning, before my process started) is analyse, asses or question ‘who I am’ when it comes to thought, word and deed and my response-ability within moments when I am exposed to my own thoughts, own words and own deeds. Whereby, I was a ‘living pen’ - not writing, through living - me, my relationships and my life with awareness. I was not CREATING. I have been a ‘living pen’ with purpose always existent within and as me if only I ENABLED my awareness and my relationship within who I am in thought, word and deed. It’s like, I was just ‘waiting’ to utilise everything I have within me, available within me to bring myself to purpose, to create the utmost potential of who and how I can be and live through my thoughts, words and deeds.

Making this realisation / understanding more practical / tangible: Throughout my process, I transformed my relationship to thoughts in a way of not blindly following them anymore, but first taking a breath and a step back and asking if the nature of my thoughts / experiences emerging within me is the awareness, self and potential I want to live / be / embody in any given moment? From where I would then decide to live a WORD with awareness and embody that word into a living expression of me, that will so transform my words and behaviour and in so doing, transform my relationship with others and my general life experience.

I found that my thoughts / inner experiences defined my words and behaviour and so created my relationships, defined my decisions and choices and filtered out into the experience of my life. Once I started redefining my relationship to who I am in thoughts, words and deeds, I started my process of setting me to PURPOSE, ENABLING thus myself in being able to CREATE ME through changing my relationship with thoughts, words and deeds with awareness.

So, exactly as you would take a pen and start writing / drawing – your hand the directive principle, your self writing / drawing with AWARENESS: you bring your SELF into creation. Same with our thoughts, words and deeds: we, with our SELF AWARENESS need to utilise our thoughts, words and deeds by DIRECTING ourselves within and as them into a CREATION, a STORY worth living.

To those who love writing / drawing / painting: the best moment is when you have that blank page before you and you have the DECISION to EXPRESS the UTMOST of yourself from the moment you start writing / drawing / painting.

This is exactly the same for the MOMENTS we have in everyday life when we have a DECISION before us the moment we recognise the fact that our thoughts and inner experiences are not reflecting our potential: to make the decision to CHANGE, to LIVE in thought word and deed the WORD you’re going to WRITE / LIVE in THAT MOMENT.

I will continue in the next post with more practical examples…

Dependable

Dependable

I played with the sounding of the word Dependable and the following opened up: De(The) – Pen – Able. Playing with the sounding of words is a way of redefining your relationship to the word and so the relationship with yourself. It’s a method used to see what you can learn from a word, through a word and so learn about yourself.

The words ‘The Pen Able’ stood out for me. From there, it opened up into ‘Enabling the Pen’. Once you enable a pen, a working pen – it is and becomes an dependable source used to assist and support you to write, to create, to express, to share, to communicate. We enable the pen, its ‘purpose’ by taking it in our hands and starting writing / drawing. We oftentimes think / believe a pen has no purpose until we use it. However, the pen’s very EXISTENCE is its purpose in the sense of BEING ABLE to write / draw. We SHARE and EXPERIENCE the pen’s purpose the moment we write with it / draw with it – the moment we make the pen A PART of OUR MOMENT, our world, our expression, our creativity.

From here I looked at the relationship between dependability and purpose. Looking at the question “who I am when it comes to the word dependable and living / making this word a part of me and my everyday life?” Interestingly enough, what first came up within me was everyone else in my life - wanting to be dependable for others. However, I realised this does not answer the above question. I must look at what being dependable means for ME first and foremost. How can I learn to understand what this word means for me in who I am when it comes to my relationship with me. Because, if I cannot live this word in my relationship with me – then living ‘dependable’ FOR OTHERS is going to be existent within the dimension of separation.

Looking at myself, I realised through my thoughts, words and deeds in moments in everyday life – I am a Pen. I write / draw as to create / express / communicate / behave etc. who I am as well as the story / painting of my life from one day to the next and into the future. Here, I drew an analogy between myself as a living being and the pen – both writing / drawing, bringing something new into creation / manifestation. From here, drawing the lines through when it comes to dependability and purpose – asking myself the questions: “What would it mean to enable myself, the living pen as the process of living the word dependable?” Then, “what would it practically mean for me, my relationship with who I am in thought, word and deed to live the word ‘dependable’ and what role does purpose play within this all?”

I will continue in the next post…