Sequence of Events vs. Time (Part 2)
We’ll continue with
the Self Forgiveness process in the next post, expanding more on the two
equations above with regards to how to see one’s relationship to reality
through the eyes of the physical and not through the eyes of Time – and what
this practically entails in our day-to-day living.
Self Forgiveness
(continued)
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise
and understand how I have been and am still self-responsible for the reactions
of patience and impatience I create within my Mind and Body when I am
confronted with a person/situation involving time – and I calculate the
procedure/process according to time (seconds, minutes, hours) in the Mind,
instead of first practically considering the relationship between
sequences of events and time. This means, me practically walking a physical
time-line and from there calculating the time a particular person / situation
would take; but if I try and control sequences of events in physical space-time
by trying to force it into/as seconds/minutes/hours – this sets me up for reactions.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to take into consideration that when I calculate time – that I often do not
take many variables into consideration, because: in my Mind – it’s only me, the
appointment and time that exists, for example, and so I will calculate time
only within this context; instead of considering the other variables of other
people and many other contingencies that may be involved in the relationship
between me and an appointment. The consequence of this is that I calculate time
and sequences of events within a tunnel-vision perspective and then when all
the things happen that I did not take into account, causing the
time-calculations I made in tunnel-vision perspective to be way out – I set
myself up for reactions.
An example:
I make an appointment
and I consider the amount of time it usually takes me to get to the
appointment, I consider the amount of time it usually takes me to wait in the
waiting-room and how long the appointment itself will be. This then encompasses
my ‘tunnel-vision’ starting point, because I am not considering probable
contingencies such as traffic, other people before my appointment time being
late / some appointments of others before me extending their appointment time.
So many times, all the contingencies / variables I didn’t take into account –
happens at once: running late at home, traffic on the way, the person with whom
I have an appointment is running late and so everything domino-effects
within/throughout the day where everything else becomes extended.
In this, if I
accept/allow myself to in the Mind – hold onto my initial tunnel-vision
calculation with all the sequences of events in physical reality changing: I am
going into conflict with physical space-time sequences of events and I am going
to try and ‘fight my way through’ all the contingencies / variables that took
place that caused my initial time-calculation to be way off. Then I will try
and ‘force my way through’ the physical sequences of events – pushing for
things to move faster, because I am trying to have the sequences of events fit
into my Mind’s time-calculation: not seeing/realising/understanding that I do
not have control over how other physical things / people move – so, trying to
force anything will be useless. Instead, what I should do – is from the first
moment of change, such as running late at home: I should adjust my
time-calculations, when something happens on the way – I should adjust my time-calculations
again and so-forth. In this process, I moving with physical-reality sequences
of events – instead of AGAINST it, trying to fight/force
my way through it if/as I was still holding onto my tunnel-vision
time-calculations.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see, realise and understand how I would use the emotion of Impatience and
the feeling of Patience as an ‘balancing crutch’ in the conflict I create
within my relationship between Time in the Mind and sequences of events in the
Physical as follows: as the sequences of events do not fit into my Mind’s
time-calculations – I start reacting within/as Impatience, because things are
taking longer than initially predicted. In/as this Impatience-reaction – I then
use this emotional force to try and control the outcome of sequences of events,
to force it into/as my Mind’s time-frame. Sometimes – the emotion of Impatience
accumulates to irritation/frustration and even anger
– using this to manipulate / blame others for why things aren’t going MY way.
Or, other times – I would balance the emotion of Impatience with the feeling of
Patience to attempt/try to stabilize myself within this conflict I am creating
between Time in the Mind and sequences of events in the Physical.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and
allowed myself to see, realise and understand how accessing/using the
emotion/feeling of Impatience and Patience is not the Solution to the problem I am
creating for myself as the conflict between Time in the Mind and sequences of
events in the Physical – it merely serves as a bridge for a moment to get me
through this conflict.
In this next post we’ll continue the Self Forgiveness
Process investigating why/how the emotion as Impatience and the feeling as
Patience is not the solution to the problem of conflict we create between Time
and Sequences of Events.
