Here we’ll share practical perspectives, understandings, insights and realisations about self, the mind, the physical, the world, consciousness – and everything and all else in-between as the multi-dimensional existence that we currently consist of and exist as; and within that: practical support and assistance methods/tools/techniques of facing this existence as self in the process of standing-up and standing-together in changing ourselves to change the world.

Once upon a time, there was an Idea that met with Reality…

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Once upon a time, there was an Idea that met with Reality…


In the next post I will share more tangible, practical examples expanding on making a definition of a word too ABSOLUTE and not allowing yourself to be FLEXIBLE within redefining and living words. Also, what can happen when you try and be TOO PERFECT within living a redefined word and how you can create positive and negative polarities within yourself, relationships and life in general – which can contribute to the experience of ‘falling, standing up, falling’ – instead of more looking at such a process as a process of learning, reflecting and changing.

Continuing with my process with the word dependable: in this post I’m going to share how I discovered that an IDEA I created about myself in my Mind – interfered with my process of expanding myself and my relationship/living within the word dependable. How this ‘idea’ contributed to making my definition and living of myself ‘too absolute’ / ‘polarised’; to the extent where I blamed myself for having done something wrong / not being good enough (other times even blamed other people for my ‘falling’ in the living of the word dependable). Instead of realising that: there was nothing ‘wrong’ / ‘I nor anyone was to blame’ / ‘I didn’t fall’. All the while it was an IDEA running in the background of my mind simply interfering with me seeing, realising and understanding that all I needed to do was to change, move, expand and GROW within myself and my definition of the word dependable!

Creating an ‘idea’ about yourself is one of the dimensions that interferes with allowing you to be more ‘flexible’ in your self definition that emerge once you redefined yourself through redefining and living a word. Creating an ‘idea’ about yourself shifts MOST of you into this ONE / few idea(s) and so can lose touch with the truth of you and the reality of the unpredictable / unexpected nature of everyday life. I realised that it was an IDEA about myself that was in fact challenging my definition, redefinition and living of the word dependable / self dependable when it came to my process regarding mistakes and also my process in my relationship with other people. This idea ‘trapped me’ to not be able to EXPAND myself, my redefinition and living of the word dependable; because when the IDEA of myself was challenged – I went into blaming myself / being hard on myself; thinking I WAS THE PROBLEM lol Yes, to a certain extent “I” was the problem, but not ALL of me – only a part of me that became defined into / as this idea. Let me explain:

From the previous posts I shared how I initially started my redefinition of the word dependable when it came to changing my relationship to mistakes and then in my working environment with specific people. This during a time where my life was pretty much the same / consistent day in and day out. Not very much exposed to different people / environments. So, with living the redefinition of the word dependable ONLY with here and there everyday life mistakes and becoming dependable in my work environment, my relationship with others: this is where I started creating this IDEA about myself to the extent of “I can make and face ANY mistake and I’ll handle it like a pro!” / “I am SO good in my dependable work relationships / relationship with others – I can do this anywhere, with anyone, any time!”
This is what I mean with ‘creating an IDEA’ about yourself. Yes, I may have transcended my relationship to mistakes, to my working environment and people within it: but by no means can I state that I can stand before ANY and EVERY mistake, ANY and EVERY person and be a ‘pro’ when it comes to being dependable. I’d only started my process. I was only a beginner. So, when this idea of myself met with REALITY – where my environment and relationship with people / beings changed: lol was this idea of myself challenged!!! I am eternally grateful for this challenge reality brought, well – the gratefulness only came after learning from it of course, the challenge itself was rather difficult!

I will in the next post continue with sharing how, when and where this idea of myself was challenged when it met with reality. How self honesty supported me to realise this. Finally, how to assist and support yourself to prevent yourself from creating IDEAS about yourself when it comes to redefining and living words, but always keep the door of opportunity for learning, expansion and growth open.

Enjoy!

Dependable: From a Perfect Beginner to a Perfect Faller…

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Dependable: From a Perfect Beginner to a Perfect Faller…



I will continue more with this in the next post to come – also expanding on the consequential role that perfection played within it all, even though I have redefined and lived the word dependable. This is also something that you will find in the process of redefining and living words: you may sometimes find yourself in other situations, environments and people that throws the living of your words ‘off course for a moment and other old patterns can creep back in’. Meaning, I may in ONE environment with SPECIFIC people walked the process of redefining and living the word dependable, but when I was faced with something different – it challenged my redefinition / living of the words in a way where I needed to EXPAND on it. So, redefining and living words is a constant, continuous process of self expansion through LIVING!

In my working environment in my early twenties, I learned BALANCE through considering me, my relationship with others, my time and my responsibilities / obligations – accordingly prioritising myself, everything and everyone in a functional, practical way; leading to becoming the living words dependable, hardworking, reliable as well as doing the best for me and everyone else. This including my general life process when it came to making mistakes, being able to learn from them and change myself through them – sharing this process and being a supportive living example for others.

However…lol, what happened within my mind was imbuing my process of learning from mistakes and changing myself from and through them as well as being dependable within the working environment and people in it, with none other than PERFECTION. In other words, as I walked through one layer of perfection when it came to ‘never wanting to make mistakes in the first place’ - it morphed / opened up into ALWAYS learning from my mistakes IMMEDIATELY, as fast as possible as best as possible and if I didn’t…but still made similar / same mistakes or the change process taking longer than I wanted it to or expected from myself: back creeped in the nature of ‘perfection’, just in another, different way. Or if, in the working environment, I didn’t BALANCE myself, my relationship with others, time and obligations / responsibilities properly – in came the ‘perfection’ dimension in relation to not balancing ‘perfectly’ / ‘good enough’ through my own eyes.
So, it’s been interesting to observe the CHALLENGES I have faced within myself in this process that opened up through the word DEPENDABLE and how my process, relationship and living with the word perfection seriously made my experience and change within the word dependable so the more difficult.

This then lead me to start walking my process within and through the word PERFECTION and investigating how this DOMINANT word within and as me has been influencing my process in many different ways. Especially also in another dimension where I recognised this word was coming through which was when it came to creating the IDEA that ‘I am officially self dependable in my trust to walk through and learn from ALL mistakes’…until ‘life happens’ and brings you circumstances, situations and moments with yourself and other people that truly brings such IDEAS in the MIND back to REALITY. Throughout my experiences, I eventually realised I made my definition of dependable DEPENDENT again on ‘making it through mistakes and being a supportive example from me for others’, essentially here LIMITING my definition of dependable, because I did not allow myself to be FLEXIBLE within who I am as dependable when it comes to my own self honesty and self trust.

So, when my life changed from my working environment and so the nature of my exposure to life and I started making ‘new types of mistakes’ within myself and my life, mistakes I was never exposed to before: I FELL. I went back into isolation, suppression, judgment, being hard on myself – I PERFECTLY FELL lol and this time into the OPPOSITE POLARITY where I didn’t balance myself, my relationships my time and obligations / responsibilities at all but kept my participation in myself and life to the bare minimum. I eventually managed to stand up from this process – but challenging it was indeed.

So, to take with you for today in your process of walking defining, redefining and living words is: Never to make an ABSOLUTE definition / process of a word, such as the mistake I made where I made my definition of DEPENDABLE absolute when it came to mistakes and who I am within and as mistakes. Eventually I learned the following and expanded my self definition of dependable in a way where: I know that, whatever the mistake, no matter how tough, I will possibly even make mistakes WITHIN a mistake lol – but one thing I have proven to myself, dropping all the judgments, being hard on myself etc. is that: I well get through it, stand up from it.
So, my dependable-trust relationship then transformed into and as the HEART of me which is: I AM HERE, I trust me that with my self honesty as I walk through and process myself within and as a mistake that I will get through it, learn from, stand up and change – no matter how long it takes, I AM HERE and I am walking. This is the final statement I have proven to myself since then - and the definition that has supported me throughout all this time up until now, I could expand this also into any and every challenges I face within myself, my life.

In the next post I will share more tangible, practical examples expanding on making a definition of a word too ABSOLUTE and not allowing yourself to be FLEXIBLE within redefining and living words. Also, what can happen when you try and be TOO PERFECT within living a redefined word and how you can create positive and negative polarities within yourself, relationships and life in general – which can contribute to the experience of ‘falling, standing up, falling’ – instead of more looking at such a process as a process of learning, reflecting and changing.


Dependable: As Within = So Without

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Dependable: As Within = So Without




I realised through revisiting my definition and living of the word ‘dependable’, once I walked through the process of not judging / being hard and tough on myself when making mistakes, instead learning from mistakes and practising what I learned into living action to in fact change from within what I have learned: I started sharing, showing more of myself, my process, my mistakes, my ups and downs in a way that assisted and supported so many others. Eventually – over time, solidifying the living of the word dependable as “being a supportive example” rather than ‘absolutely perfect’. But, it was quite the journey to first and foremost live dependable for me, me showing my dependability to myself in being able to stop judging / being so hard on myself and to take that step into actually learning from mistakes and correcting / changing from what I learned.

One of the important things I realised in my process of understanding what it really means to redefine and live words in a way where it becomes a natural part of the way you look at things inside yourself, speak and act / behave is: noticing the stark difference between when a word is a PART of every fibre of your being / presence and natural living as opposed to when you are ‘trying to be a word for everyone else’.

As with the example I have walked: Over some time, focusing developing the redefining and living of the word dependable - so much more opened up in many other areas in my life when it came to how, when, where, why and towards whom this word was still not being lived. This is also something you will find with the process of redefining and living words: yes, you may initially start with ONE redefinition and living context, as with me, where it started within the context of becoming a supportive living example for others. But, from there – my redefinition and living of this word expanded so much more into others areas and relationships in my life, some of the redefinition and living of this word still challenging me to this day. It’s been extraordinary to observe how much I have learned, and still do learn, about myself from ONE WORD. Over time, you become so much more skilled and equipped with self awareness and processing information that you can redefine and live words exceptionally fast. Initially though, it’s a slow but sure process – because it’s something you’ve never done before or been exposed to before.

As with my previous post, I truly became a ‘perfect beginner’ through my process of redefining and living the word ‘dependable’, assisting and supporting myself to actually first and foremost prove dependability to myself and how it completely transformed my relationship to me, my process and so others as well. Where, the more I became dependable in my self trust - stopping judging / being hard on myself for my mistakes, walking a process of writing, forgiveness and corrective living; then ONCE I CHANGED a mistake and first and foremost proven it to myself: sharing it with others – in this, my whole world of communication with other people changed, I stopped isolating myself, I stopped suppressing. Here bringing through the heading of this blog “Dependable: As within = So without”. As I changed ME LIVING this word DEPENDABLE WITHIN MYSELF = it started manifesting in the WITHOUT of myself, seen through my relationship to the process I walked with transforming mistakes and my process / relationship with so many other people. If I did not walk the process of redefining dependable for me within myself and actually LIVED this redefinition = the WITHOUT of myself in my process through life’s mistakes and so my relationship with other people would not have changed. This is an example of one of the self empowering dimensions when it comes to understanding this statement.

Another example, much of it still challenging me in different ways to this day – in which the word ‘perfection’ also played and still does plays a role is the following: (going back in time – my early twenties – when this process of the word dependable / perfection opened up) I initially rushed and raced after everything and everyone else at the same time, this though also part of a ‘wanting to please and make everyone happy’ character I was walking at the time. My experience within the word ‘dependable’ also played a major role within this process, because I wanted to please, be seen as dependable, hardworking, valued etc. Yes, nothing wrong with having such aspirations – BUT – the problem does come in when none of those words are a natural part of you, yourself in your personal relationship with you. Eventually, I was under so much stress, time-consumed with trying to do everything and anything at once, while hoarding more responsibilities than I could handle to keep everyone else happy – I burnt out, ‘cause I had NO balance in equally considering me as much as obligations / responsibilities and rather incorporating more effective time management / prioritizing. On top of that…I couldn’t make everyone happy, no matter how hard I tried, leading to the ratio eventually escalating to the point where more people were disappointed / fed up with me than happy.

So, during this time, with the words “dependable, hardworking, valued, aspiring to have the best relationships with other people” not having been redefined nor lived for me first and foremost in my relationship with me – I was TRYING to gain access to, become or experience those words THROUGH OTHERS in any and every way I could. Here as well you will clearly see the difference between a word being a part of you and ‘trying to be a word for everyone else or GET it from somewhere / someone else’.

So, my journey started where I redefined the words dependable, hardworking, valued, best relationships with everyone in a way THAT INCLUDED ME and a BALANCE in considering me, my obligations and my relationships with others. Through this, I eventually still did everything I did before, but with much more stability, time consideration, scheduling, prioritising and in this process – actually from my within, created the REAL definition and living of the above words in my working environment.

I will continue more with this in the next post to come – also expanding on the consequential role that perfection played within it all, even though I have redefined and lived the word dependable. This is also something that you will find in the process of redefining and living words: you may sometimes find yourself in other situations, environments and people that throws the living of your words ‘off course for a moment and other old patterns can creep back in’. Meaning, I may in ONE environment with SPECIFIC people walked the process of redefining and living the word dependable, but when I was faced with something different – it challenged my redefinition / living of the words in a way where I needed to EXPAND on it. So, redefining and living words is a constant, continuous process of self expansion through LIVING!