Here we’ll share practical perspectives, understandings, insights and realisations about self, the mind, the physical, the world, consciousness – and everything and all else in-between as the multi-dimensional existence that we currently consist of and exist as; and within that: practical support and assistance methods/tools/techniques of facing this existence as self in the process of standing-up and standing-together in changing ourselves to change the world.

The Dark Truth lurking within my Desire for Perfection

|
The Dark Truth lurking within my Desire for Perfection


With walking a process redefining the word dependable and so redefining who I am in thought, word and deed in relationship to it – and this process changing me, my life and living experience: I was also challenged with the word PERFECTION.

As I mentioned before - this is one of the dimensions in the process of redefining and living words I thoroughly enjoy, but at the same time experience to be quite challenging: as you walk a process of redefining and living ONE WORD, MORE WORDS and so parts of yourself become exposed requiring some well needed redefinition.
I started my initial redefining and living process of the word(s) self-dependable on who I am when making mistakes: to instead of judging, criticizing and beating myself down with my own thoughts and emotions, assist and support myself to ‘humbly and gracefully embrace the fall, the mistake’, stand up within it and learn from it in a way that will not only support me, my life – but others as well. That my learning process through and from mistakes can guide others in their lives in a way where they can apply the principle of prevention and learn from me, my mistakes so as to not make the same unnecessary mistakes in their lifetimes. In so doing, many individuals can then rather focus on immediate growth, learning and expansion. We oftentimes think we need to ‘learn from our own mistakes, make all the same mistakes’ – when you can learn just as well by walking in the shoes of another’s story, their mistakes, what they learned from it and take the insights, realisations and perspectives into yourself and your own life.

Within this journey of redefining self-dependable when it came to my experiences and moments of making mistakes – I noticed this element of the ‘desire for perfection’ coming through strongly, contributing much to what caused my initial self-criticism, self-judgment and beating myself up with my own thoughts and emotions.
I didn’t realise the extent to which this ‘desire for perfection’ was existent within the depths of my mind and affecting the very nature and experience of my thoughts, words and deeds until I slowly but surely started the process of ‘peeling through the layers’ of my mind, my consciousness when it came to how I programmed myself within and as the word ‘perfection’. It was so extensive, that – whenever it came to relationships, any type / form of relationship like my relationship with myself, my family, friends, potential partners, acquaintances, work colleagues: in any given moment I’d walk into a moment with them wanting the moment, experience and relationship with them to be PERFECT in all ways. I was always ADFRAID of doing something wrong, saying something wrong, not doing / saying something in the ‘right way’, not PLEASING enough, not being good enough, not striving for enough within the given relationship, not looking good / perfect enough…and the list goes on.
This is something about this process that’s been intriguing and eye-opening in many ways: as you explore the depths of your mind, your consciousness and into the programming of yourself within words – such as the word PERFECTION – you come to understand yourself, who and how you are in thought, word and deed SO MUCH BETTER in a way where you can really, genuinely change. For me, I initially believed that I was just someone who was very judgmental, hard on myself. I initially believed I was someone who was always afraid of making mistakes, doing the wrong things, not being good enough in my own and other’s eyes and so living in a constant polarity of ‘desire for perfection’ and ‘fear of not attaining and living up to that perfection’. I believed and lived all of this, until I started exploring my own programming within and as word PERFECTION - where I came to see, realise and understand that: the SOURCE of my criticism, judgment and being hard on myself, the SOURCE of my FEARS when it came to my relationship with myself and others: all originated from my misaligned definition and so living of the word PERFECTION.

In the next post I will continue sharing the very long journey I walked with correcting my relationship with perfection that I started walking simultaneously with redefining the word(s) self-dependable in the context of making mistakes. Together with this, how exactly I realised the severity of this perfection relationship I created with myself and others in my MIND, what a shock it was to me to see the extent to which I lived in almost CONSTANT FEAR AND ANXIETY because of it. From here, how my relationship and living of myself in thought, word and deed changed with redefining the word perfection and so redefining myself – setting myself free from constant fear and anxiety by ending the POLARITY between FEAR and DESIRE of PERFECTION.


Dependable: Bad ending for Fantasy = Happy ending for Reality

|


Dependable: Bad ending for Fantasy = Happy ending for Reality


I will in the next post continue with sharing how, when and where this idea of myself was challenged when it met with reality. How self honesty supported me to realise this. Finally, how to assist and support yourself to prevent yourself from creating IDEAS about yourself when it comes to redefining and living words, but always keep the door of opportunity for learning, expansion and growth open.

We are often so caught up in our imaginations and fantasies, so much so that: when our fantasies ‘come back to earth’ and meet with reality – we, in the moment when it happens, feel as though ourselves and our world is falling apart. Yet, with time – we, with the (often challenging) support of reality, equally release ourselves from the fantasy and become, once again, anchored into the physical, what’s real, what’s here.

This is to a degree what happened with me when the idea I created of myself in my mind of being ‘dependable’ was challenged by reality. My definition of fantasy, here, is with regards to the fantastical, the illusion, the imaginary that we so easily create within our Minds. Come to think of it, an interesting point emerges in this moment: how we seem to be so apt when it comes to creating the fantastical, the imaginary, the illusion in our Minds…yet, when it comes to creating something REAL, something SUBSTANTIAL, something long lasting IN THIS WORLD, IN THIS REALITY – it seems impossible? I’ll expand more on this in posts to come.
(This is the process we’re walking with SOUL: LIVING WORDS. This process assists and supports with showing you how to create yourself, your life, your relationships, your future through redefining and living words. Aligning your being / awareness to LIVE and CREATE more IN THIS WORLD, IN THIS REALITY than the Mind / Consciousness.)

Yes, I did manage to LIVE the word DEPENDABLE and transform my relationship with myself in relation to mistakes and my working environment. Yet, equally so – I managed to create an IDEA, an ILLUSION of myself in my relationship to living the word dependable. It wasn’t a good or bad thing: purely a learning curve for which I am grateful. Because, once again – I made a mistake and made it in a way where I can now share this process with each one reading. In so doing, you learn through me in a way where you don’t have to make the same mistakes, but can from the get go consider to: when redefining and living words – walk the process from the get-go where you ensure that your redefinition process is continuous, always leaving room for expansion and not limit your redefinition / living process by creating ABSOLUTES and through that an IDEA of yourself. Because, guaranteed: Reality will meet fantasy and you’ll be brought down back to earth in quite the unpleasant way / experience lol especially when you believed in / lived your idea / illusionary self definition so absolutely lol

So, to take with you from the process I walked – and I will in the next post continue with explaining / expanding on the creation of ideas, the illusionary self-definitions – is to, whenever you redefine a word, in fine print have within your redefinition process the words:

“I see, realise and understand that I am redefining and living this word within the context of myself, my life and my relationships right now. I see, realise and understand that I may change, my life may change and my relationships may change. In this unpredictable nature/context of life itself – I hereby take into account that as I may change with everything in my life changing – so will who I am in and as the words I’m redefining and living change. Change can come with realisation or challenges that everyday life brings me. But, I hereby commit to assist and support me, to – either with realisation change or challenge change, always keep my redefining and living of words OPEN, to learn, to grow, to expand within myself and my everyday life experiences. In so doing, not limiting myself to absolutes and ideas – but assist and support myself to reach my utmost potential through constant / continuous growth, expansion and development.”





Once upon a time, there was an Idea that met with Reality…

|


Once upon a time, there was an Idea that met with Reality…


In the next post I will share more tangible, practical examples expanding on making a definition of a word too ABSOLUTE and not allowing yourself to be FLEXIBLE within redefining and living words. Also, what can happen when you try and be TOO PERFECT within living a redefined word and how you can create positive and negative polarities within yourself, relationships and life in general – which can contribute to the experience of ‘falling, standing up, falling’ – instead of more looking at such a process as a process of learning, reflecting and changing.

Continuing with my process with the word dependable: in this post I’m going to share how I discovered that an IDEA I created about myself in my Mind – interfered with my process of expanding myself and my relationship/living within the word dependable. How this ‘idea’ contributed to making my definition and living of myself ‘too absolute’ / ‘polarised’; to the extent where I blamed myself for having done something wrong / not being good enough (other times even blamed other people for my ‘falling’ in the living of the word dependable). Instead of realising that: there was nothing ‘wrong’ / ‘I nor anyone was to blame’ / ‘I didn’t fall’. All the while it was an IDEA running in the background of my mind simply interfering with me seeing, realising and understanding that all I needed to do was to change, move, expand and GROW within myself and my definition of the word dependable!

Creating an ‘idea’ about yourself is one of the dimensions that interferes with allowing you to be more ‘flexible’ in your self definition that emerge once you redefined yourself through redefining and living a word. Creating an ‘idea’ about yourself shifts MOST of you into this ONE / few idea(s) and so can lose touch with the truth of you and the reality of the unpredictable / unexpected nature of everyday life. I realised that it was an IDEA about myself that was in fact challenging my definition, redefinition and living of the word dependable / self dependable when it came to my process regarding mistakes and also my process in my relationship with other people. This idea ‘trapped me’ to not be able to EXPAND myself, my redefinition and living of the word dependable; because when the IDEA of myself was challenged – I went into blaming myself / being hard on myself; thinking I WAS THE PROBLEM lol Yes, to a certain extent “I” was the problem, but not ALL of me – only a part of me that became defined into / as this idea. Let me explain:

From the previous posts I shared how I initially started my redefinition of the word dependable when it came to changing my relationship to mistakes and then in my working environment with specific people. This during a time where my life was pretty much the same / consistent day in and day out. Not very much exposed to different people / environments. So, with living the redefinition of the word dependable ONLY with here and there everyday life mistakes and becoming dependable in my work environment, my relationship with others: this is where I started creating this IDEA about myself to the extent of “I can make and face ANY mistake and I’ll handle it like a pro!” / “I am SO good in my dependable work relationships / relationship with others – I can do this anywhere, with anyone, any time!”
This is what I mean with ‘creating an IDEA’ about yourself. Yes, I may have transcended my relationship to mistakes, to my working environment and people within it: but by no means can I state that I can stand before ANY and EVERY mistake, ANY and EVERY person and be a ‘pro’ when it comes to being dependable. I’d only started my process. I was only a beginner. So, when this idea of myself met with REALITY – where my environment and relationship with people / beings changed: lol was this idea of myself challenged!!! I am eternally grateful for this challenge reality brought, well – the gratefulness only came after learning from it of course, the challenge itself was rather difficult!

I will in the next post continue with sharing how, when and where this idea of myself was challenged when it met with reality. How self honesty supported me to realise this. Finally, how to assist and support yourself to prevent yourself from creating IDEAS about yourself when it comes to redefining and living words, but always keep the door of opportunity for learning, expansion and growth open.

Enjoy!