Getting to know Oneself through Observing Others
The Evil that is Gossip (Part 3)
In the next post we’re
going to have a look at how we as individuals can take personal responsibility
first and foremost: see where within yourself you accept and allow this
programming and participate in the perception, interpretation and assumption
programming within yourself when observing other people. This so that you can
for yourself see the extent to which you do this to yourself, as well as others
in not giving them the opportunity to share who / why / how they are and in so
doing – separating you from others in your own
Mind with believing your own perceptions, interpretations and assumptions
more than actually getting to know a person.
The main point that supported me in this process of ensuring
I don’t fall into the trap of perception, interpretation and assumption –
believing my own frames of reference / worldview more than actually getting to
know another person: is self-honesty. Self-honesty from the perspective of
assisting and supporting myself to, in the moment I observe another person / people
and I identify reactions / movements of energy accompanied with thoughts and
backchat: I’d do self-forgiveness
within myself first and foremost, then realise that what came up within me was
my limited reference / understanding as ideas I’ve formed of another person /
people based on the limited amount of knowledge and information I acquired. If
I do not have the opportunity to go up to the person / people and ask / get to
know them, I simply SEE ME – meaning: realise that I in that moment actually
more observed myself than others and when / as I do have the opportunity to go
up to a person / people and talk with them / get to know them I then add /
expand my already existent knowledge and information.
See, what is interesting here when it comes to observing
other people and especially when our thoughts / backchats / projections and
reactions activates, is that: in that moment – we are not in fact in a moment
of observing another person as it is that we are observing our own MINDS.
I have, within my personal
process, learned the most about myself by introspecting what triggers /
activates in my own Mind with other people and have changed my relationship
with many people by applying this one simple point: before I speak / act in
relation to another person – I first check my self-honesty, my thoughts and
reactions – walk forgiveness, breathe, make sure I am clear in who and how I am
to essentially be able to approach a person in a moment with a ‘blank slate’
within me. Meaning – connecting with a person in a way where I essentially
stand before them as “this is who I am” not as “this is who I am together with
my thoughts and reactions about you”. Because otherwise, you don’t give
yourself nor the other person the opportunity to genuinely ‘meet’ one another,
as whatever they do / say you will filter through your already existent
perceptions, interpretations and assumptions – always having a wall between you
and them, and then LOOKING for things they do and say to confirm / deny your
preconceptions. Then, it doesn’t become about getting to know them – the process
becomes about you wanting to validate / justify your own frames of reference /
worldview about things, because you are standing in the starting point of “I am
right in how I SEE and what I SEE” – it’s all about solidifying the knowledge
and information in the Mind, completely missing the plot of actually
getting to know another person, intimately - really understanding and seeing
what is within / behind what they do / say, the reasons for who and how they
are. No one honestly has access into this (another person’s Mind, history and
entire life) cause you only have access to your own Mind, your own thoughts and
reactions and so you cannot in fact look into another person’s mind, history,
their entire life to directly and clearly see EVERYTHING that happened to them
to shape, mould and create them into the person standing before you in a
conversation…
So, this is one of the primary mistakes everyone makes:
thinking that you can ‘know’ a person just by looking at them or spending a
little time with them – because for some reason, people have come to trust
their own perceptions, interpretations and assumptions in the mind more and BELIEVE
in that more than actually putting in the time and effort of getting to know a
person intimately and having them SHARE who they are and WITH THEM through
their words, stories and sharing of themselves and their lives SEE who they are
through their eyes, through their words, through who and how they are with you
in space and time.
So, with this, what I would suggest for everyone to consider
applying and implementing in your own life is realising that – especially when
you’re in the beginning stages of your process of understanding the Mind of
thoughts, emotions etc. (here I would suggest researching the DIP Lite process that introduces
you to the basic mechanics of how Consciousness operates and then DIP Pro that takes you deeper into your Consciousness
in understanding how your thoughts and reactions creates behaviour / habits and
so your general life experience with relationships, decisions / choices, the
future etc. – how you through the Mind are in fact creating who, how and what
you are and your life is and how to assist and support yourself to empower
yourself to change your life through changing yourself for the better) – is realising
that: whenever you are observing / looking at other people, take a moment and
REMIND yourself to breathe, to first and foremost INTROSPECT
and SEE what thoughts and reactions are coming up inside yourself, FIRST SEE
what you can LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF in that
moment, learn about your mind based on knowledge and information you accepted
and allowed that is in fact limiting you from EXPANDING yourself / your knowledge and
information within you as long as you react to perception, interpretation and
assumption in your own Mind. Then to forgive the reactions, realise that what
came up within you is what you understand NOW of what you observed / saw but it
in no way can absolutely define another person cause you don’t have access to
them, their minds, their lives nor do you know them in any way whatsoever – so you
would be limiting you as well as them by holding onto your own beliefs and not
allowing yourself to get to know them, their minds / lives.
So, this is the first step I would suggest assisting and
supporting oneself with: see how much you can learn about yourself, your own
mind through observing others and when you do have the opportunity to meet
other people – do yourself and them a favour, make sure you’re self honest and
clear upon meeting them and talking with them – to get to know them and so also
get to know you, to expand yourself through getting to know other people –
rather than limiting yourself to your own mind’s beliefs and ideas. Because
this is the thing that’s at the core of creating gossip – people’s minds coming
together validating each other’s beliefs and we need more people who have the
courage to stand up and bring through some awareness and commonsense in such
situations and sharing the consequence of gossip, making people aware of what
gossip is and what we miss in our relationship with other people by believing
gossip more than giving another person / people the opportunity to share who
they are.
We’ll continue more in the next post…
