Dependable: As Within = So Without

Dependable: As Within = So Without

I realised through revisiting my definition and living of the word ‘dependable’, once I walked through the process of not judging / being hard and tough on myself when making mistakes, instead learning from mistakes and practising what I learned into living action to in fact change from within what I have learned: I started sharing, showing more of myself, my process, my mistakes, my ups and downs in a way that assisted and supported so many others. Eventually – over time, solidifying the living of the word dependable as “being a supportive example” rather than ‘absolutely perfect’. But, it was quite the journey to first and foremost live dependable for me, me showing my dependability to myself in being able to stop judging / being so hard on myself and to take that step into actually learning from mistakes and correcting / changing from what I learned.

One of the important things I realised in my process of understanding what it really means to redefine and live words in a way where it becomes a natural part of the way you look at things inside yourself, speak and act / behave is: noticing the stark difference between when a word is a PART of every fibre of your being / presence and natural living as opposed to when you are ‘trying to be a word for everyone else’.

As with the example I have walked: Over some time, focusing developing the redefining and living of the word dependable - so much more opened up in many other areas in my life when it came to how, when, where, why and towards whom this word was still not being lived. This is also something you will find with the process of redefining and living words: yes, you may initially start with ONE redefinition and living context, as with me, where it started within the context of becoming a supportive living example for others. But, from there – my redefinition and living of this word expanded so much more into others areas and relationships in my life, some of the redefinition and living of this word still challenging me to this day. It’s been extraordinary to observe how much I have learned, and still do learn, about myself from ONE WORD. Over time, you become so much more skilled and equipped with self awareness and processing information that you can redefine and live words exceptionally fast. Initially though, it’s a slow but sure process – because it’s something you’ve never done before or been exposed to before.

As with my previous post, I truly became a ‘perfect beginner’ through my process of redefining and living the word ‘dependable’, assisting and supporting myself to actually first and foremost prove dependability to myself and how it completely transformed my relationship to me, my process and so others as well. Where, the more I became dependable in my self trust - stopping judging / being hard on myself for my mistakes, walking a process of writing, forgiveness and corrective living; then ONCE I CHANGED a mistake and first and foremost proven it to myself: sharing it with others – in this, my whole world of communication with other people changed, I stopped isolating myself, I stopped suppressing. Here bringing through the heading of this blog “Dependable: As within = So without”. As I changed ME LIVING this word DEPENDABLE WITHIN MYSELF = it started manifesting in the WITHOUT of myself, seen through my relationship to the process I walked with transforming mistakes and my process / relationship with so many other people. If I did not walk the process of redefining dependable for me within myself and actually LIVED this redefinition = the WITHOUT of myself in my process through life’s mistakes and so my relationship with other people would not have changed. This is an example of one of the self empowering dimensions when it comes to understanding this statement.

Another example, much of it still challenging me in different ways to this day – in which the word ‘perfection’ also played and still does plays a role is the following: (going back in time – my early twenties – when this process of the word dependable / perfection opened up) I initially rushed and raced after everything and everyone else at the same time, this though also part of a ‘wanting to please and make everyone happy’ character I was walking at the time. My experience within the word ‘dependable’ also played a major role within this process, because I wanted to please, be seen as dependable, hardworking, valued etc. Yes, nothing wrong with having such aspirations – BUT – the problem does come in when none of those words are a natural part of you, yourself in your personal relationship with you. Eventually, I was under so much stress, time-consumed with trying to do everything and anything at once, while hoarding more responsibilities than I could handle to keep everyone else happy – I burnt out, ‘cause I had NO balance in equally considering me as much as obligations / responsibilities and rather incorporating more effective time management / prioritizing. On top of that…I couldn’t make everyone happy, no matter how hard I tried, leading to the ratio eventually escalating to the point where more people were disappointed / fed up with me than happy.

So, during this time, with the words “dependable, hardworking, valued, aspiring to have the best relationships with other people” not having been redefined nor lived for me first and foremost in my relationship with me – I was TRYING to gain access to, become or experience those words THROUGH OTHERS in any and every way I could. Here as well you will clearly see the difference between a word being a part of you and ‘trying to be a word for everyone else or GET it from somewhere / someone else’.

So, my journey started where I redefined the words dependable, hardworking, valued, best relationships with everyone in a way THAT INCLUDED ME and a BALANCE in considering me, my obligations and my relationships with others. Through this, I eventually still did everything I did before, but with much more stability, time consideration, scheduling, prioritising and in this process – actually from my within, created the REAL definition and living of the above words in my working environment.

I will continue more with this in the next post to come – also expanding on the consequential role that perfection played within it all, even though I have redefined and lived the word dependable. This is also something that you will find in the process of redefining and living words: you may sometimes find yourself in other situations, environments and people that throws the living of your words ‘off course for a moment and other old patterns can creep back in’. Meaning, I may in ONE environment with SPECIFIC people walked the process of redefining and living the word dependable, but when I was faced with something different – it challenged my redefinition / living of the words in a way where I needed to EXPAND on it. So, redefining and living words is a constant, continuous process of self expansion through LIVING!