If can’t Beat ‘em…Join ‘em: Changing your relationship to Sleepless nights

If can’t Beat ‘em…Join ‘em: Changing your relationship to Sleepless nights

In the next post I will continue with how these three dimensions of conflict contributes to sleepless, restless nights and the irony of wanting to use sleep as an escape mechanism…yet, you’ll find your worries, fears and problems follow you to sleep and tends to do the exact opposite by keeping you awake!

It almost feels like you’re being ‘lead on’ by your own mind and body the moments before getting into bed – because you experience enough tiredness / exhaustion to know you can just close your eyes and be off to a good night’s rest…but then, while you’re getting comfortable: here comes the thoughts and emotions rushing into your mind - perpetuating you into a state of awakeness. Suddenly everything becomes uncomfortable, you can’t find a position to sleep / rest in, being thrown between experiences of being awake and exhausted as your thoughts and emotions refuse to settle down.

We tend to miss the obvious: the ONE place where you can make a difference, where you can take control – is INSIDE yourself when it comes to your relationship with your OWN mind. This is the ONE place / space where only YOU exist. Yet, we tend to want to change everything else OUTSIDE ourselves, THINK about everything / everyone else OUTSIDE ourselves - taking the OUTER reality into the INNER reality wrap it up in emotional energy / reactions...and so we create a compound effect of problems / issues WITHIN ourselves.

The KEY here is to ‘unwrap’ the emotional charges / energy from the outer-reality problems / issues you’ve brought into your inner reality. Your inner reality should be a ‘sanctuary’ of sorts where you do not accept and allow emotional reactions to veil your inner eye / sight as your directive principle to be able to LOOK at / assess things within and as self honesty, stability and clarity to so be able to make informed decisions when it comes to finding / creating solutions to things coming up inside yourself / that you face in everyday life.

If we cannot handle or direct as finding solutions for the things going on in our INNER REALITY we’re connected to and DIRECTLY responsible for…the very INNER REALITY relationship we have with ourselves will be reflected in our outer reality and relationship to the people, situations and environments we’re exposed to in everyday life.

One thing to realise is that: your inner reality won’t sort itself out. It’s interesting how we tend to find any and every way possible to run away / suppress or just ignore the things we’re fighting with inside ourselves. With the consequences – staying in the very thoughts and reactions of problems / issues inside yourself, tossing and turning at nights, fuelling the stress / anxieties levels making concentration and living during the days to come so much more difficult…Yet we wouldn’t put in the time or effort to take a breather, take a moment, even a couple of minutes of the day to slow down and introspect / reflect on the troubles we’re accepting and allowing ourselves to haunt our minds and compromise the health and stability of our physical bodies…

In the next post I will continue expanding on how you can use the time and also physical and mental energy in the evenings when you cannot sleep due to problems / issues in your thoughts / mind keeping you awake: to rather than remaining in the thoughts and reactions, using mental and physical energy to do so – use the time and energy to do introspection / reflection and sort out / direct the experiences inside yourself.

This will over time assist and support you to develop the directive principle within yourself to not accept and allow your inner reality to be thwarted with conflict – but direct and sort out your inner reality in such a way where, when conflicts arise: you’re immediately present and aware to be able to sort it out and find solutions, so that you can support yourself to be in a state of stability and groundedness within and without; and so handle the issues / problems everyday life may present to you with much more stability and groundedness.

When I want to Sleep my problems away – yet my problems keep me Awake…

When I want to Sleep my problems away – yet my problems keep me Awake…

Then continue with point 2. – the second dimension I experienced contributing to sleepless and restless nights, which is when you have stressful / emotional thoughts and experiences within you creating the inner conflict of alertness and exhaustion; also how to assist and support yourself when facing such experiences within you.

Many use sleep as an escape mechanism…especially when it comes to having to wake up in the mornings and you really just don’t want to, because everything of you knows what is ahead when you open your eyes and walk into the day: having to deal with yourself, others and life. What I mean with having to deal with yourself: is the non-stop inner conflict you can be presented with within your thoughts and emotions, having to deal with your inner reality. This is most difficult at times when you don’t have the tools / guidance when it comes to directing your thoughts and emotions. I have personally found that: if my inner reality is in chaos / conflict – it makes it exceptionally difficult / challenging to deal with the unpredictable we walk into when it comes to everyday life, which creates a third dimension of conflict: the conflict between the inner and the outer.

1^st Dimension of conflict: Inner conflict

This is when you have things going on inside yourself in relation to yourself, others / life itself that keeps you occupied in your thoughts and emotions.

2^nd Dimension of conflict: Outer conflict

This happens as you walk your day and things happen / transpire in everyday life you didn’t expect which tends to ADD to the already existent inner conflict within you

3^rd Dimension of conflict:

This is when there’s a ‘clash’ of sorts between your inner reality and outer reality – where, as you’re dealing with things inside yourself, more things happen outside yourself with relationships / situations. So as you’re essentially walking pre-existent inner conflict within yourself, you’re also at the same time met with outer conflict with things happening in moments throughout your day. This is what makes it so the more challenging / difficult to direct your outer world, because your inner world is also not being directed. This leads to much stress and anxiety as you’re essentially living in chaos with accepting and allowing such a life within and without.

I realised that I can’t predict the outcome of each day. The only power I have is in MOMENTS throughout my day AS and WHEN things happen. However, I’ve realised that: as long as I have problems / issues inside myself I am not dealing with / directing it tends to disempower me in MOMENTS throughout my day, because then - instead of DIRECTING or solving conflicts / problems that I’m met with throughout my day, I tend to project / exert my own personal issues / problems / inner conflicts onto / towards things I walk into / experience in everyday life. Therefore, I cannot control the conflicts / problems I face in everyday life – but I can take response-ability (the ability to respond as becoming the directive principle) of my own mind, my own thoughts and emotions within me.

So, by taking my power in my relationship with my own mind – resolving the INNER conflicts I face / experience, I can so walk my everyday life experience in such a way where I can ensure that my own inner conflicts are not projected / exerted onto / towards the unexpected / unpredictable I may face in everyday life. Walking my everyday life experience with more stability and clarity within myself, empowering myself to in moments – rather than projecting/exerting emotions / reactions onto something / someone – assess the person/people and situations much better, to stand within the self empowered position of always finding  /creating solutions, rather than creating even more conflict / chaos.  

We don’t realise that this is what we do / accept / allow if we continue with inner conflict / chaos – we become / embody this chaos within and it start filtering through our words and actions, especially in moments where we should be standing to find solutions, we instead ADD to problems / conflict / chaos in everyday life. Therefore, with you assisting and supporting yourself to transform your relationship with inner conflict / chaos to sorting it out, dealing with things you’re going through and directing it – you embody such a nature / presence within and as yourself and it will equally start filtering into your outside world life experiences. Where, instead of adding to problems / conflicts, you will be able to stand in such a way so as to always direct it, find solutions, resolve matters.

In the next post I will continue with how these three dimensions of conflict contributes to sleepless, restless nights and the irony of wanting to use sleep as an escape mechanism…yet, you’ll find your worries, fears and problems follow you to sleep and tends to do the exact opposite by keeping you awake!