Getting to know Oneself through Observing Others

Getting to know Oneself through Observing Others

The Evil that is Gossip (Part 3)

  

In the next post we’re going to have a look at how we as individuals can take personal responsibility first and foremost: see where within yourself you accept and allow this programming and participate in the perception, interpretation and assumption programming within yourself when observing other people. This so that you can for yourself see the extent to which you do this to yourself, as well as others in not giving them the opportunity to share who / why / how they are and in so doing – separating you from others in your own Mind with believing your own perceptions, interpretations and assumptions more than actually getting to know a person.

The main point that supported me in this process of ensuring I don’t fall into the trap of perception, interpretation and assumption – believing my own frames of reference / worldview more than actually getting to know another person: is self-honesty. Self-honesty from the perspective of assisting and supporting myself to, in the moment I observe another person / people and I identify reactions / movements of energy accompanied with thoughts and backchat: I’d do self-forgiveness within myself first and foremost, then realise that what came up within me was my limited reference / understanding as ideas I’ve formed of another person / people based on the limited amount of knowledge and information I acquired. If I do not have the opportunity to go up to the person / people and ask / get to know them, I simply SEE ME – meaning: realise that I in that moment actually more observed myself than others and when / as I do have the opportunity to go up to a person / people and talk with them / get to know them I then add / expand my already existent knowledge and information.

See, what is interesting here when it comes to observing other people and especially when our thoughts / backchats / projections and reactions activates, is that: in that moment – we are not in fact in a moment of observing another person as it is that we are observing our own MINDS.

I have, within my personal process, learned the most about myself by introspecting what triggers / activates in my own Mind with other people and have changed my relationship with many people by applying this one simple point: before I speak / act in relation to another person – I first check my self-honesty, my thoughts and reactions – walk forgiveness, breathe, make sure I am clear in who and how I am to essentially be able to approach a person in a moment with a ‘blank slate’ within me. Meaning – connecting with a person in a way where I essentially stand before them as “this is who I am” not as “this is who I am together with my thoughts and reactions about you”. Because otherwise, you don’t give yourself nor the other person the opportunity to genuinely ‘meet’ one another, as whatever they do / say you will filter through your already existent perceptions, interpretations and assumptions – always having a wall between you and them, and then LOOKING for things they do and say to confirm / deny your preconceptions. Then, it doesn’t become about getting to know them – the process becomes about you wanting to validate / justify your own frames of reference / worldview about things, because you are standing in the starting point of “I am right in how I SEE and what I SEE” – it’s all about solidifying the knowledge and information in the Mind, completely missing the plot of actually getting to know another person, intimately - really understanding and seeing what is within / behind what they do / say, the reasons for who and how they are. No one honestly has access into this (another person’s Mind, history and entire life) cause you only have access to your own Mind, your own thoughts and reactions and so you cannot in fact look into another person’s mind, history, their entire life to directly and clearly see EVERYTHING that happened to them to shape, mould and create them into the person standing before you in a conversation…

So, this is one of the primary mistakes everyone makes: thinking that you can ‘know’ a person just by looking at them or spending a little time with them – because for some reason, people have come to trust their own perceptions, interpretations and assumptions in the mind more and BELIEVE in that more than actually putting in the time and effort of getting to know a person intimately and having them SHARE who they are and WITH THEM through their words, stories and sharing of themselves and their lives SEE who they are through their eyes, through their words, through who and how they are with you in space and time.

So, with this, what I would suggest for everyone to consider applying and implementing in your own life is realising that – especially when you’re in the beginning stages of your process of understanding the Mind of thoughts, emotions etc. (here I would suggest researching the DIP Lite process that introduces you to the basic mechanics of how Consciousness operates and then DIP Pro that takes you deeper into your Consciousness in understanding how your thoughts and reactions creates behaviour / habits and so your general life experience with relationships, decisions / choices, the future etc. – how you through the Mind are in fact creating who, how and what you are and your life is and how to assist and support yourself to empower yourself to change your life through changing yourself for the better) – is realising that: whenever you are observing / looking at other people, take a moment and REMIND yourself to breathe, to first and foremost INTROSPECT and SEE what thoughts and reactions are coming up inside yourself, FIRST SEE what you can LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF in that moment, learn about your mind based on knowledge and information you accepted and allowed that is in fact limiting you from EXPANDING yourself / your knowledge and information within you as long as you react to perception, interpretation and assumption in your own Mind. Then to forgive the reactions, realise that what came up within you is what you understand NOW of what you observed / saw but it in no way can absolutely define another person cause you don’t have access to them, their minds, their lives nor do you know them in any way whatsoever – so you would be limiting you as well as them by holding onto your own beliefs and not allowing yourself to get to know them, their minds / lives.

So, this is the first step I would suggest assisting and supporting oneself with: see how much you can learn about yourself, your own mind through observing others and when you do have the opportunity to meet other people – do yourself and them a favour, make sure you’re self honest and clear upon meeting them and talking with them – to get to know them and so also get to know you, to expand yourself through getting to know other people – rather than limiting yourself to your own mind’s beliefs and ideas. Because this is the thing that’s at the core of creating gossip – people’s minds coming together validating each other’s beliefs and we need more people who have the courage to stand up and bring through some awareness and commonsense in such situations and sharing the consequence of gossip, making people aware of what gossip is and what we miss in our relationship with other people by believing gossip more than giving another person / people the opportunity to share who they are.

We’ll continue more in the next post…