Becoming Dependable: The Beginning
“What would it mean to
enable myself, the living pen as the process of living the word dependable?”
“What would it practically mean for me, my relationship with who I am in
thought, word and deed to live the word ‘dependable’ and what role does purpose
play within this all?”
In this post, I am continuing with the above questions as
well as expanding on the following:
To those who love
writing / drawing / painting: the best moment is when you have that blank page
before you and you have the DECISION to EXPRESS the UTMOST of yourself from the
moment you start writing / drawing / painting. This is exactly the same for the
MOMENTS we have in everyday life when we have a DECISION before us the moment
we recognise the fact that our thoughts and inner experiences are not
reflecting our potential: to make the decision to CHANGE, to LIVE in thought
word and deed the WORD you’re going to WRITE / LIVE in THAT MOMENT.
Here is my beginning with living the word ‘dependable’ in my
first and foremost relationship: my relationship with ME – who I am in thought,
word and deed. Together with incorporating the word purpose: how I placed my
SELF (through what I have as my ability to look, speak, act and within that
DECIDE) – to PURPOSE. I essentially merged the words ‘dependable’ and ‘purpose’
within myself in a way where, living the word ‘dependable’ supported the word ‘purpose’
as much as the word ‘purpose’ supported the word ‘dependable’.
This is what is so exciting and liberating when it comes to
the process of redefining and living words: How you change and so CREATE
yourself through redefining and living individual words, but also reach a phase
where you start having a look at uniting / connecting words; such as the words
dependable and purpose in a way that supports you in your relationship with
yourself, your mind, your relationships and everyday life experiences!
An example: Redefining the word ‘dependable’ for me was to
look into both words, ‘dependable’ and ‘purpose’. With having a look at these
two words in the beginning of my process when I started Portalling and my
responsibility when it came to Portalling: my definition of ‘purpose’ was my
relationship to bringing through the beings, to Portal, to share as much
knowledge and information that could be placed into living practise /
application to show people the process through the Mind into their Utmost
Potential as living Self Awareness. Dependability then within that was my personal
process WITHIN myself – being the living / leading example, by being more aware
of who I am in thought, word and deed – placing a GUARD infront of my MIND, my
MOUTH and my LIVING ACTIONS. A GUARD as ME as the MOMENT I GIFT to myself
through self forGIFTness to take a BREATH, take a STEP BACK and assess in
MOMENTS “who I am” and whether what is moving / manifesting within me is what I
want to speak / live or whether I am going to DIRECT and MOVE myself into and
as a different expression.
So, here you can see how my ‘self dependability’ as
depending on me to be a living / leading example of the purpose I walk and
committed to within and as Portalling and the knowledge and information as
process the beings are sharing through me – how these two words compliment and
support one another in my life, my self and my responsibility towards me and
Portalling.
However…I have through time, within the definitions and
living of the words ‘purpose’ and ‘dependable’ found that there were some ‘misalignments’
in my initial self definition of the word ‘dependable’. I was satisfied with
how I lived the word ‘purpose’ when it came to my responsibility and commitment
(as well as MUCH ENJOYMENT!!!) to Portalling. However…I realised I still
personally in this world and the hereafter walked my personal processes and
experiences through my own mind, being and body relationship - in such a way
where I didn’t always ‘feel’ or ‘see’ myself as ‘dependable’ in my personal
process and so as an example for so many others. Until I realised: there was a
part of me that defined the word ‘dependable’ in “being dependable FOR
EVERYONE, FOR THE PORTAL, FOR PROCESS” and so, whenever I made a mistake, or
went through a process – I would be VERY hard on myself…and unnecessarily so.
Here again, leading me to asking myself: With having the
PURPOSE I do have. The responsibility I have within and as this purpose that is
me, that is my life…how can I start redefining and living the word ‘dependable’
for ME first and foremost and from here SHARE and EXPRESS and be a living
example of this word for so many others who can, in turn, empower themselves by
redefining and living this word?
For so many others, when you have so much responsibility,
such a massive purpose – does dependability mean “you have to be perfect all the
time?” Does dependability mean “perfection” OR…does it mean “being a SUPPORTIVE
EXAMPLE?” What is the difference between “perfection” and “being a supportive
example?” To me, being a supportive example is: when and as you go through
processes and experiences, make mistakes – that you LEARN and SHARE and SHOW as
a supportive example for others to equally LEARN FROM YOU as YOU LEARNED FROM
YOUR MISTAKES. ‘Cause I initially defined ‘dependability’ within ‘my purpose /
responsibility’ as “I have to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!”. This was a mistake…
I will continue more in the next post
